When our daughter was in kindergarten she was excited to carve her own pumpkin. We went to the local Pumpkin Patch, each child picked out their own pumpkin, and we headed home to carve out some fun. We handed the kiddos each a pencil to mark where they wanted the top of the pumpkin cut, so we could remove the insides, and the carving could begin. We laid out all the ‘carving tools’, you know the ones… they don’t have any sharp edges, and usually break while trying to cut through the outside of the pumpkin leaving the ‘blade’ buried in the pumpkin’s side. We began working on the pumpkins. Our daughter grabbed on the carving tools, and went to town, trying to create a ‘lid’ for her soon to be jack-o-lantern. She seemed to be doing great tackling the lid of the pumpkin, even though she thought it was taking too much time. I turned my attention for just a for a second to see what progress her little brother was making. When I turned back to our daughter, I saw that she had grabbed a real knife, stuck it in the pumpkin! She had braced her left hand on the pumpkin with the handle of the knife between her thumb and pointer finger. Before I could reach her, she pulled back on the handle, dragging that sharp blade through the flesh between her thumb and pointer finger! I grabbed a dish towel and wrapped it around her hand. I scooped her up, and ran her over to the kitchen sink, and rinsed her wound. It was at this moment my husband and I learned that he cannot stand the sight of blood, especially his daughter’s blood. Holding my daughter on my hip, I quickly grabbed up all the tools while my husband caught his breath and allowed his stomach to settle and the dizziness to go away. Once he was good to go, I buckled our little girl in the car, and rushed off to Urgent Care. On the way we talked about what happened, and how I was sorry that she hurt her hand, sorry that I wasn’t paying good enough attention, and I was sorry that this was going to hurt more before it felt better. Nine stitches later, her nurse wrapped up her little hand in gauze. We joked and laughed at the fact that her nurse had gone crazy with the gauze, and her precious little hand looked like it belonged on a mummy. When we got home all our little daughter wanted to do was finish her Jack-o-lantern with one hand. It took some time, but she carved the cutest jack-o-lantern, with a little help.
As parents, we were just sick that our poor daughter got hurt, with both of us right there with her. It was a great lesson for both me and my husband. All it took was a second, and our little girl was hurt. We thought we had taken all the precautions that were necessary. Parenting is a big responsibility. I know that day, I took too much for granted. I thought I had everything under control…. Clearly I was mistaken. As a parent, we will make mistakes, we will have parent fails. The best advice I ever received was no matter what happens, no matter what you do right and what you do wrong, ask your child for forgiveness, admit that you messed up, and tell your child you love them more than life itself. Asking your child, your spouse, your friends or co-workers for forgiveness is one of the hardest, but most important thing we can do. By asking your child to forgive you when you make a mistake, you can help your child see the importance of not only asking for forgiveness, but the freedom that comes from forgiving others.
‘All bitterness, anger, and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgive one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.’ Ephesians 4:31-32
Our children learn from our example. They react to everything based upon what they see and hear. If they see us as parents showing love, compassion, kindness, and even forgiveness, they will in turn do the same. Raising kids is a hard job, but seeing your children as loving, compassionate, caring adults is worth all the tough, hard, and sometimes humbling conversations you will have with them.
