Growing up in Montana, we moved around a lot. One of the houses we lived in was at the edge of town. We had 4 horses at the time, so they lived in our backyard and we converted the garage into a barn. There was a lot of undeveloped land behind us, and that is where we would take the horses out for a ride everyday. We had a big wood fence separating our backyard and the undeveloped land, that we would climb up and sit on the top of the 6 foot tall fence.
One day my aunt brought over my cousins to go horseback riding. We had a great mare, Tammy, that would let anyone ride her. I asked my aunt if she would like for me to saddle up the horse, but she insisted on doing everything herself. I brought her the proper saddle, saddle blanket, and bridle. I offered again to help her out, as three of my cousins patiently awaited sitting on the fence. I joined my cousins on the fence as my aunt saddled up the horse. She put two of her young kids in the saddle, and one behind the saddle so she could hold onto the back of the seat of the saddle.
My aunt patted Tammy on the rump and sent the 3 kids off for a ‘fun’ ride. As I sat alone on the fence, I noticed that Tammy the horse kept stopping. My aunt fussed at Tammy and she left in a slow trot. As I watched them leaving our backyard, I saw the cousins bouncing all over the place. I couldn’t help but laugh. Then I realized that with every step the horse took, all three kids were slowly slipping to the side. I yelled to them to lean to the left, but the trio seemingly glued to the saddle, had now slid down, and they were trotting back completely on the right side of the horse! Eventually the entire saddle, kids and all, were hanging up-side-down on the bottom of the horse’s belly! The cousin on the back behind the saddle, finally let go, and immediately the horse froze. The other 2 cousins finally dropped from their dangerous (yet hilarious) position. I jumped down from the fence, ran over and grabbed the reins of my horse, while my aunt gathered her little children, like a duck gathers her young under her wings. Everyone was fine. My aunt told her kids that they were now ‘trick riders’, and they now could grow up and ride horses in a rodeo! As we all giggled at her great humor and perspective, I offered one last time to saddle the horse up. My aunt was appreciative of the help. She had not tightened the saddle properly. As everyone knows, when you fall off, you must get right back on that horse. I saddled up the horse again and helped get the cousins back in the saddle again. That day my aunt learned what a cinch on a saddle is for and the importance of it.
Whether we want to admit it or not, at one point or another we experience ‘parent fails’. As parents, the way we handle the ‘fails’ makes all the difference in the world. Not only do we build character, but more importantly we teach our kids and maybe others (in this case me) how to react to adversity. That day I learned from my aunt that it’s okay to laugh when things go sideways (and sometimes up-side-down). I learned that if you humbly offer… just one last time to help, that people will allow you to help them, no matter who you are and what the circumstances might be. I also learned that using your sense of humor in potentially dangerous situations and/or ‘parent fails’, defuses the situations and helps give people laugh at themselves and not get frustrated.
‘And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.’ Romans 5:3-4
Even though I was young, that day I saw the most endearing characteristic in my aunt, her sense of humor. She has shown me over the years that it is best to find a way to laugh at almost any situation. Yes, that day she experienced a ‘parent fail’, but I saw her deal with that fail with grace, love, and laughter.
